Next up!

First update in awhile!

Putting on this rager on 6 July at Crofter Rights Industrial punk noise from Northampton's Nailbreaker and Liverpool's Victim Unit with Joe from Organchrist technoising £5 Headfirst tickets- hdfst.uk/E75986 #nailbreaker #victimunit #Organchrist #noise #industrial #harshnoise #punk #bristolgigs #croftersrights

Spider Kitten - Making Paradise Possible

So, Jonestown, right? That was pretty fucked up. Not exactly the sort of thing you'd want to base a 30 minute album on right? Well SK did it anyway. It sounds kinda like if Flipper did prog.

GYMNASTIC DEMOMPOSITION - The Egg is Magnetic

A long time ago in a Newport far, far away there was GYMNASTIC DECOMPOSITION.

A deeply stylish musical rug, they made 'rubbish' in the 'fake' style of "HAPPY GRINDCORE".

The band played a total of two gigs.

DEAL.

GENERAL MARTOK - REALITY DEATH SOUP

Once again summer has been quiet at Sharp Noodle, with shows, tours and recordings of "proper" albums taking up most of the bands' time. So we break the 5 months of silence with another release from legendary Canadian weirdo General Martok. A tasty synth and field recording stew with a healthy balance of pretty and pretty abrasive.

GENERAL MARTOK - IN THE MOOD

Super special bank holiday treat!!! Sharp Noodle get's all international up in this bitch with the first release from Canada's nofi internet legend General Martok. Imagine if Lou Barlow & Eric Gaffney were involved in an unfortunate teleportation accident whilst working on a Sebadoh album in 1993 and, before having their hideous mutant face shotgunned up by Gina Davis, managed to record 30 awesome tracks of electro-acoustic mongpop.

In the mood is the ghost of a Fostex fourtrack rising up like sweat from the passionate love making of the young Yma Sumac and Jandek in a dense jungle of vowel-centric incantations. Or it sounds a bit like pavement, the fall, or the inbreds.

Linus Fitness-Centre - Crap Mammals

Because no one demanded it - a distinctly unmetal solo album by Snork Maiden's Linus Fitness-Centre (not to be confused with the one in Atomck). Ten tracks of under-written, overly compressed electrotosh, blending nice old synths with stupid video game noises, while Mr Fitness whines about some nerdy crap. Recorded during the winter of 2010-11, this album would have been longer but for the obligatory Sharp Noodle computer malfunction rendering it mercifully brief.

ATOMCK / PAUCITIES split 7"

Unusually for a SNR band ATOMCK seem to have gone a bit real and released a actual vinyl?

It can be bought HERE or downloaded for free from atomck's hosting partner TORN FLESH RECORDS HERE

PROPOSED ATOMCK/CEMENTIMENTAL D-BEAT PROJECT

We just got an email from these two SNR artistes stating they intend to record a 'terrible' new D-beat hardcore punk album, and they are just looking for the right name.

So far we have come up with the following:

DISHARD

DISMOUNT

DISINTEREST

DISTARD

DISTRO

DISTROY

DISBEAT

DISSENTRY

DISTANT

DISDOOM

DISTEND

DISPEPSIA

DISLEXIA

And the possibly game-chaning THISCHARGE.

Please let us know what you think/ any new ideas.

God save the Queen and all that old shoes...

Spider Kitten - To Let The Winter In

3 tracks of heartbreakingly sad Christmas Doom.

Atomçk - aborted split with HORSE VOMIT bootleg

In May 2009 Atomçk recorded what was intended to be a split 12" with legendary London noise supergroup Horse Vomit. 12 tracks were written and (mostly) recorded inside of a week. 18 months or procrastination and computer fails followed. Here is probably the closest thing to a final mix that will ever emerge. If Atomçk were the Beach Boys, this would be their "Smile" (with laziness and hard drive corruption in place of drugs and mental instability). Features shoulda been classic "Tim Drage - The Opera", guest starring all of Spider Kitten on vocals and saxaphone.

SNORK MAIDEN - WE SELL MILK

It's been a quiet summer at Sharp Noodle towers as most of the "real" bands involved have been touring, recording and stuff. To make up for the long posting absence here's something good:

The second opus in the Snorks' twenty x three trilogy. 20 tracks of lofi electronica, mongpop, chiptune prog, bongpunk, tragicomic-core and other made up micro-genres. Neck and neck with Cake Artistry Centre for being their best work, this one is slightly more bathbong-frazzled.

Spider Kitten - Science Insults Your Intelligence

Controversial beliefs and great tone combine in this release as The Spider Kittens return to their ambient metal roots.

Spider Kitten - Twin Obscenities / Semi Auto Construct

In this 7 incher Spider Kitten autoacoustically rework some old songs assisted by Luke Oram of Atomck on guitar and Banjo. Not for the STOUTHEARTED.

Snork Maiden - 50 minutes of shit

Album #2 from wALdo muffinstuffer, esquire and Count Linus Michael Fitness-Centre III, recorded May 2001. This one does exactly what it says on the tin.

SNORK MAIDEN - STATiC TRAiN BREAD FiGHT!

So you enjoyed the last Snork opus, Cake Artistry Centre, yeah, and you'd probably like to hear more of their wonky electro pop, right? Unfortunately this here is their 1st album - 13 tracks of tape hiss smeared fx pedal bashing, recorded down a telephone line into broken 4-track in 2001. SO FUCK YOU.

VARAN THE UNBELIEVABLE - CHICKMAS

Vintage Newport harsh noise. An accidental Snork Maiden side project, formed for a birthday party in 2004. VARAN thereafter became active whenever the members' "real" bands were feeling particularly lazy. Most of these tracks have been available on myspace since 2006, but now you can damage your hearing at a higher bitrate!

Thinking with Sand - sex funeral

Brand new web-only e.p. from the hyperlazy newport noisepopniks; 2 very slack years in the making. Like blowing a hair dryer into your ear in Wookey Hole on MDMA.

Spider Kitten - Routine

More Nirvana worship from Spider Kitten. Imagine In Utero without the unnecessarily loud drums. It's a nice thought, isn't it?

Spider Kitten - Driven Men

If you've ever thought that Nirvana's Nevermind could've done with being a touch heavier and a bit less well produced, you're in for a treat.