GYMNASTIC DEMOMPOSITION - The Egg is Magnetic

A long time ago in a Newport far, far away there was GYMNASTIC DECOMPOSITION.

A deeply stylish musical rug, they made 'rubbish' in the 'fake' style of "HAPPY GRINDCORE".

The band played a total of two gigs.

DEAL.

GENERAL MARTOK - IN THE MOOD

Super special bank holiday treat!!! Sharp Noodle get's all international up in this bitch with the first release from Canada's nofi internet legend General Martok. Imagine if Lou Barlow & Eric Gaffney were involved in an unfortunate teleportation accident whilst working on a Sebadoh album in 1993 and, before having their hideous mutant face shotgunned up by Gina Davis, managed to record 30 awesome tracks of electro-acoustic mongpop.

In the mood is the ghost of a Fostex fourtrack rising up like sweat from the passionate love making of the young Yma Sumac and Jandek in a dense jungle of vowel-centric incantations. Or it sounds a bit like pavement, the fall, or the inbreds.

SNORK MAIDEN - STATiC TRAiN BREAD FiGHT!

So you enjoyed the last Snork opus, Cake Artistry Centre, yeah, and you'd probably like to hear more of their wonky electro pop, right? Unfortunately this here is their 1st album - 13 tracks of tape hiss smeared fx pedal bashing, recorded down a telephone line into broken 4-track in 2001. SO FUCK YOU.

Thinking with Sand - sex funeral

Brand new web-only e.p. from the hyperlazy newport noisepopniks; 2 very slack years in the making. Like blowing a hair dryer into your ear in Wookey Hole on MDMA.

Science Bastard - Alive for the BBC

The 2nd recording from the Newport noise-punk-popsters, the final to feature their original lineup. Recorded live from the Swn Festival at Chapter Arts Centre for Adam Walton's BBC Wales radio show. Only a few hour after the performance, bassist "Count Jimshnackh" murdered guitarist "Euronlinus" after a dispute over a contract for New State Radium recordings. The surving members continue as trio. Expect new music in a few months. Jimshnackh is currently serving a 21 year sentence in Norway, producing crap ambient albums and inept far right literature from his cell.

Thinking with Sand - in situ

3rd EP from the ultra-slack shoegaze losers. Waves of guitar sizzle, endless reverb, twinkling synths and head-raping noise. Originally packaged in a envelope and given away free at the Joy Collective Xmas party on 27th December 2007. Now yours to enjoy direct from the intermaweb!

Angry Recipient - S/T

Debut release from short lived Grungefuck idiots. More raw than ODB's steaks.

Chuck Brogan Jr - Sour Mash

Chuck Brogan is a mean sonabitch from Lincoln, New Mexico. This album was created in tribute to him. He is a low down dirty rotten no good 2-bit bum and if he knew about this release he'd be fucking livid. So, by all means, enjoy these seven tracks of whisky sodden country punk, but, whatever the fuck you do, don't tell Chuck!

BRONZE AGE MILLIONAIRE - CHINESE YEAR OF THE BEARD

Flash-in-the-pan casio-garage-punk twats finally cough up a release. The first half was recorded in spring 2005. After this the band split due to chief creative visionary Moore-o The Eye leaving to write, direct and star in hit BBC television show Torchwood. They reformed in spring 2006 to half-finish the job. BAM then split for good(?) that summer following a violent clash with fellow Newport scenesters frommars over alledged allegations made in top-ten single "frommars are cocks". CHINESE YEAR OF THE BEARD is a testament to what can be achieved with cheap instruments when fueled with cheaper drugs.